Say no to self assembly furniture

As some of you know we didn't have a bed, but rather a sofa bed. Not like you think in the states. Rather the German kind. I tried to find a picture but to no avail so try to visual this with me. Two twin mattresses. One is set one hinges attached to a wooden base like a box it swings up and down. Now the other lays flat and has 2 legs it attaches to the base on a slider. So as a couch the back flips up and the other slides, as a bed the back flips down the other slides out. Any who, it was not in any way shape or form comfortable. It had no box spring so the bed caved into the lower base, and had a huge crack or split down the middle of the bed. So I was uber stoacked when my family gave us money for a bed as an anniversary gift. We found one at aldi. 

We found a real bed with one mattress. Which is hard to come by here. Germans like to take two twin mattresses and put them side by side. Brady bunch style only closer. No clue why, it is a German thing. After living here a while you realize there is no sense trying to decipher such behaviors. 

Normal bed, but self assembly required. Well I am a wimp and my husband a computer geek. Construction is by no means our forte. So what according to the instructions was a 30 minutes project turned out to be a half day affair. We had previously assembled the wooden slats (Germans don't do box springs... I know I know.. I really don't know so don't ask me.) Box springs make sense right, wooden slates break, but no no box springs here.

So we start building here is the chain of events (Just the ones that screamed red flag, but we neglected to comprehend)

1. Start with the head board - the metal pieces are too short and don't fit, one screw is defective ( no really it had no screw top lol)

2. The middle support bars- one side broken can screw in. Then a screw snaps in half, and becomes lodged.

3. The side bars fit together, but the screw holes don't line up

4. Yeah we still continued connect he last side and it doesn't properly line up

Now normal people would have stopped at phase one and realized they got a crappy defective peice of ****. But no it took up trying to assemble it two hours to figure it out. So we took it all apart, and ventured back to Aldi (on a Saturday, 1 hour before closing) to return it. 

So we get inside and wait in line with 40 other Germans who buy cart full of groceries every Saturday because heaven forbid the store is not open the next day and one would die without every flavor of yogurt. (another German quirk) So we get to the registrar and these women are like crack addicts they go so fast.

Try to envision all simultaneously

1. I am handed two forms to fill out in German. 

2. She starts trying to run off with the cart which has my purse.

3. She yelling at my husband about why we didn't tie the box together.

4. I am yelling asking what the paper say

5. Husbands answering me and chasing cart

6. She tosses us money and throws away our original receipt then proceeds to the next person

I couldn't even ask for my receipt back for the other parts of the bed. We had to track down another person who claims we wont need it, which I find hard to believe. The warrenty says original receipt required. 

So they did not just let us trade it in, we had to get cash, go outside, and then back in. And buy a new bed. 

We got home, and assembled the next bed. Luckily it went pretty fast since it was the second time around. After about an hour we managed to get the bed together. Now that did include occasional rants in German by my counter part and threats to kick the bed or throw it out the window. But in the end it came together. And thank God, it had no defects.

So 5 hours later we have the bed set up.

I love the bed, but so not worth it. I am all about the delivery and installation. Worth every penny.